When I was little I always wanted to be "grown up." Driving, being independent, wearing "grown up" clothes and high heels. Going to work appealed to me, dating and getting married...having a family. I was ready for it all when I was six. I never painted my nails, never watched Disney movies, never obsessed over boy bands.
And now, when I wear those heels, and drive, and have that job, and am in college--I find myself reverting back to six year old things. I paint my nails weird colors while listening to lectures on political philosophy. I study economics to Disney soundtracks. I dance myself silly in the kitchen when no one is home. When I get bored of school I go play dress-up with my formals. In a way, I'm more of a little kid now than I've ever been. Maybe it's a stress reliever mechanism. Or maybe I took myself seriously when I vowed on my twelfth birthday that I would never grow a day older inside.
Laugh at me; go ahead. But just know it won't phase me. I'll be too busy dancing to notice.
2 have given a response:
C.S. Lewis would say you are doing just what you ought to be doing as you grow up!
"Critics who treat adult as a term of approval, instead of as a merely descriptive term, cannot be adult themselves. To be concerned about being grown up, to admire the grown up because it is grown up, to blush at the suspicion of being childish; these things are the marks of childhood and adolescence. And in childhood and adolescence they are, in moderation, healthy symptoms. Young things ought to want to grow. But to carry on into middle life or even into early manhood this concern about being adult is a mark of really arrested development. When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
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